We’ve all seen some highly combative celebrity divorces that seem to go on for longer than a couple was together. However, spouses don’t have to be fighting over a vineyard, multiple homes or multi-million-dollar art collections for a divorce to drag on for years.
Family law attorneys can cite divorces where spouses were so angry with each other and bent on retribution that they fought over items with little monetary – or even sentimental – value. In some cases, they took turns having “custody” of an item.
Unfortunately, sometimes couples even fight over who gets to “keep” their children’s belongings. Children’s belongings are theirs, regardless of who bought them. They should be the ones to decide – within reason – which parent’s home they want those belongings to be in if getting a second one isn’t feasible.
Strong emotions can get the better of decision-making skills
If one spouse is deeply hurt by the break-up and perhaps by some betrayal that preceded it – like an affair or even finding out that their spouse had a secret gambling problem or was hiding serious financial issues – this can lead to anger and bitterness. The spouse who feels betrayed may fight over every aspect of the divorce. This can also extend – albeit in a negative way – a relationship they aren’t ready to end.
Sometimes, the other spouse will give in out of exhaustion or guilt and let them have what they want. Some spouses will become equally combative, and neither spouse will let the other “win” anything.
If one spouse is blindsided by the other’s announcement that they want a divorce, it can be especially difficult to make smart decisions. The spouse who filed for divorce may have been contemplating and even planning for it for months. The other spouse needs time to catch up. It’s difficult to make good decisions when you’re still processing the information.
Getting the focus back on what’s important is critical
What’s crucial is not to use assets – and certainly not children or pets – as a way to get back at a soon-to-be ex. Having experienced legal guidance can help a person focus on what’s ultimately best for them – and their children, if they’re a parent.
Legal professionals also need to be compassionate about the emotional toll the divorce is taking on their clients. That means helping them focus on the things that are important and not making everything a battle. This can help minimize the time, expense and stress of divorce while working towards the best outcome.