A highly contested divorce can affect the mental well-being of everyone involved, including your children. The short and long-term consequences can be significant, too, sometimes leading children to suffer from poor school performance, struggle with interest in social activities and develop anger, irritability and overwhelming sadness. While you certainly might find that concerning for your children, there are ways to shield them from the worst of the marriage dissolution process, thereby protecting them from these negative consequences of divorce.
But keeping your children safe during the divorce process takes intentional effort, especially since it’s easy to get wrapped up in the emotional aspects of your marriage dissolution. That’s why in the rest of the this post we want to look at some steps you can proactively take to keep your children safe during your divorce.
How to protect your children’s well-being during divorce
We know you have a lot to think about as your divorce plays out. But as you navigate complex legal issues like property division, spousal support, child custody and child support, you should try to do the following to so that your children don’t have to face the brunt of your divorce:
- Avoid using your children as messengers: Using your children to send messages to your spouse puts them directly in the middle of your conflict. This can place them in a difficult position where one parent exhibits anger or sadness toward them based on the content of the message. This can leave your children feeling guilty and ashamed, and they can develop an excessive amount of stress and anxiety when they’re asked to convey information to the other parent. There are a lot of other effective ways to communicate during divorce, so keep your children out of it as much as possible.
- Maintain a routine: Divorce can feel chaotic for children, as the stability that they’ve always known is threatened. But you can minimize these feelings by providing them with routine. By doing so, your children will know what to expect day-in and day-out, giving them a greater sense of control over their own lives and a feeling of stability in a time of upheaval.
- Talk to your children: Your children are going to experience a wide array of emotions during your divorce. By intentionally setting aside time to talk to them, you give them an opportunity to unload the emotional baggage that they’re carrying, and you can decrease the uncertainty that they’re feeling. Be open and honest with your children about the process, too, while also encouraging them to come to you if they have question, concerns or simply want to talk.
- Don’t talk poorly about the other parent: Regardless of how you feel about your children’s other parent, you shouldn’t bad mouth them in front of your kids. Doing so can taint your children’s view of both the other parent and you, and it can lead to resentment that negatively impacts your children’s relationship with both parents. So long as it’s safe to do so, you should refrain from talking negatively about the other parent and encourage your children to spend meaningful time with them.
Know how to navigate your divorce in a healthy way
Divorce can touch nearly every aspect of your life. If you don’t enter the process with a concrete plan, then it can be a bumpy ride. That’s why now is the best time to think through your divorce legal strategy and the steps you can take to protect your and your children’s best interests. By being diligent and thoughtful, you’ll hopefully secure the fair resolution that sets you all up for the successful future that you want.